End Of A Dream, Beginning Of A Nightmare
by Thorned Rose
Summary: Zoisite asked to die beautifully, yet the wish was never truly granted to him, not in the way he wanted. He felt used and alone, so what would happen if the anger created a life for him, albeit a somewhat tainted one without his normal feelings?
1. Ungranted Desires

            The darkness swarmed all around him, pounding in his head, blinding what little hopes and dreams he had, as he knew this was it. He felt pain encroaching upon every section of his body, and it hurt his just to lie on his front. A light fluid ran along his back, yet the youth was unaware whether it was blood or perspiration—either way it meant that he was losing something his body required for vitality. He felt as though he smouldered on both sides of his skin, wondering why even though he'd never shown any retaliation in the past, why had Kunzite-sama not said anything when Queen Beryl had blasted him? He felt even more hollowed when he reached the conclusion he wasn't worth as much to the older man as thought.

            He longed for death to close its fond embrace around him (he was positive nothing would ever close its arms around him again), he was dying cold, painfully and, he bitterly added, alone. He'd always been the one to toy with other people in pushing their patience to the absolute limit; this was the occasion where he'd gone too far. Fate retaliated; punishing the copper-haired youth for the years of irritation he'd caused other people by allowing him to linger in the condition of not being alive whilst still bearing a pulse.

            Is this Eternal Sleep? Not a truly conscious state of being, immobile and forever unable to die? He would have shuddered and recoiled at this idea if he weren't exerting every ounce of his thoughts and strength on remembering what his lover looked and sounded like, but all he could remember now were all the occasions where Kunzite-sama had snapped at him and called all his efforts futile, useless, pathetic. Then again, that was how he felt now, so Kunzite-sama's words over his actions were surely transferred to his own being now. He was just a dying piece of unwanted matter now, nothing to stay alive for yet he couldn't die. Death eluded him in its mocking manner, enjoying his pain no doubt. What was that? Zoisite had distinctly heard something which was never part of his memory banks; Kunzite-sama was saying something about asking Queen Beryl to revive him; was it an incredibly cruel manifestation his brain had conjured to toy with him further, or…

            He opened his eyes properly, much against his body's wishes as it only inflicted more pain upon himself, but it was worth it—he saw the light at the end of his dank tunnel, Kunzite-sama had returned to him, he was not forgotten! His initial thought was very near being true, as the first thing he'd seen when he'd opened his eyes had been Kunzite's hair, reflecting a multi-faceted shine from what little light existed in the Dark Kingdom and it made him almost too beautiful to look at, according to the younger male. The Ice King stood proud and flawless to the end of Zoisite's memory banks it would seem; yet the mortally wounded Shitennou felt this was not a time where he should hide his emotions—he needed to die with the knowledge he was loved or _something_ to show for the life they'd led together!                    

            He felt arms drawing him closer to the other man's body; an embrace, yes his superior **was** making a great start, though it did not seem enough for the youth at the moment. He needed to allow his already malfunctioning hearing the grace of hearing a proclamation; likewise he needed to let his sense of touch engage in a tender kiss with him. In any case, he became highly aware that he'd need to initiate the sequence in any event, it would be too much of a character change for Kunzite-sama otherwise, and he wanted to remember the general for exactly how they were.

           "I am happy, for I will die in your arms. But please, grant me my last wish" I love you Kunzite-sama, let me hear you thought the same about me, only sincerely. Don't lie to me as I die, even though it would make me ecstatic to hear the words pass your lips. I need truth, not shells of emotion in pity.

           "What is it?" Come on Kunzite-sama; PLEASE don't make me say it! Take the hint, read me poetry, shower me with love and genuine words until I leave you forever, I can't die without something that made living worthwhile! Do it Kunzite-sama, I'm begging you, or even after all this time can you still not pay attention or understand my feelings? I'll give you one last try, but please don't disappoint me.

           "I want to die beautifully" I can't spell it out any more my love, as I don't want to beg for your attention if you will not divulge it benevolently.

           Kunzite drew his cloak around his lover as he teleported them to a place other than the floor near Beryl's throne. In the briefest instant as they travelled through the void between places, all Zoisite saw and smelt was his lover, the only sound other than his perpetual gasping for air was that of Kunzite's heartbeat. Despair raised its ugly head in Zoisite's as he realised the soft pounding was no different than it usually was, meaning that his lover felt no different about him dying than he did during target practice! He wouldn't feel any different without his student around, and was not even pretending otherwise now as he was withering away and dying.

           He insulted himself for the countless time, screaming out what a fool he'd been, always acting for years like little more than a previously neglected kitten; he'd felt absolute trust in one person when they touched him once, then he treated else as a potential threat to his happiness and so annoyed or killed them. He hadn't really hated Nephrite, but if he'd been friends with him or Jadeite, his master might have been angry and lashed out again, so he carried on with true devotion to him, and now that master didn't care. Why should he? He could easily take another pet into his life; now Zoisite felt like he'd merely been used out of pity for every second of all those years, all those nights…then the moment was gone.

          Kunzite moved the cloak back to reveal the new place to the surprised green-eyed king; he'd taken him back to the place where they'd spent most of their time together, the soft scent of the floral displays slightly overwhelming that of his master's—this horrified that they interfered with his last moments with his lover, yet he simultaneously felt oddly serene. He moved closer to his love's body to get the scent he desired back, hoping he'd take any moment now to tell his student how he felt. He just prayed that the elder man _did_ care.

         The place itself had been conjured by Kunzite-sama when they'd first started sneaking around together for privacy, without the surroundings resembling anything as forbidding as their queen. So the teacher had sculpted the beauty based upon his student—pretty yet fragile, and of course the pupil's trademark petals interwoven into the design. The first time they'd lain together, Kunzite-sama had muttered to himself that true beauty was in the radiant darkness, referring to his lover lying in the beautiful part of the Dark Kingdom, or at least this was how Zoisite had always imagined it to mean.

         Zoisite became depressingly aware that his chances of any emotions or words from Kunzite-sama were fading fast, as indeed was his very life, so he extended his hand, praying his sensei would take it to place a caring kiss upon the back of it as it didn't appear he'd ever share a proper kiss with anyone again. Not now. Instead, he exhaled out 'How beautiful. I am happy Kunzite-sama' without his heart being in the words at all, though he was momentarily withdrawn from his misery when a sakura petal floated onto his palm. It resembled a pink heart to the sentimental student, wondering whether or not Kunzite-sama had conjured it to express his love in another form, but judging from the older man's face, he was just as interested in its peculiar timing.

         Zoisite knew nothing was going to happen now, with the light fading fast from his usually bright emerald eyes. He allowed a few tears some freedom for the last time, feeling victim of an unrequited love; dignity and vanity were no longer important to the male.

         "I loved you, Kunzite-sama"

         He deliberately used the past tense of the verb and for the first time did not mean it when he called him master. He died from his own inner misery in his weak state, and then his hand dropped lifelessly, with the sakura petal, unseen to Kunzite, turning a withered charcoal black in colour. Kunzite had been greatly moved by his student's tears yet could not say anything in comfort, not for his own desires to work. He whispered 'Forgive me, Zoisaito' as he walked away from the beauty, never to return there, as he saw no need for such things now the spark had died from his own life. As an afterthought to his sentence, he thought 'Forgive me Zoisaito, for I could not let you die beautifully as you wished—I love you too much to say goodbye.'

         The black petal reverted back to its pink hue before setting itself alight, tainting Zoisite's white glove with ash. Kunzite would never return, just like Zoisite's love for his superior never would.


	2. Black Surroundings, Black Thoughts

            Déjà vu. That was all the perplexed youth felt as his being rested in the eternal darkness—it was almost exactly the same as just before he'd returned for a short and extremely disappointing reunion with Kunzite. 'Rest' was perhaps not the correct verb to describe his actions, it was more he existed there as not one part of his slight body felt even remotely calm or relaxed with the knowledge of this being the way he was destined to live out the rest of his time. He also felt like 'living' was an incorrect choice, for if he were truly dead then there would feasibly be no cut-off point for this torturous procession. Unless…maybe when Queen Beryl had killed him it had been little more than a feverish dream from the attack his opposition had delivered to him. Maybe he'd wake up on the floor again, having seen a premonition warning him of his fate! He decided this was the most likely possibility in his surreal world at the moment and attempted to conjure an ice-crystal, with the intent of sending it into whichever Senshi annoyed him the most when he woke from the floor. Nothing happened. He exerted his energy many times but he didn't even produce a successful molecule, causing him to curse himself for his weakness.

            There wasn't even a mere sliver of light to be found or seen in the claustrophobic prison surrounding him, yet this darkness was different to that in the Dark Kingdom. There wasn't the choking feeling of evil, danger or pain in this place as there was in every inch of his homeland, yet the darkness was far blacker than a starless night in a moonless world. His lips involuntarily curled back when he thought of a moon; it instantly reminded of that blonde bitch that had tried to foil many of his motions on the Earth. It was thinking about the past and where he lived that jolted his memory with the thought of his deceased comrades—if he was dead then Jadeite, Nephrite and countless Youma must also be in the area, serving out their punishments too! It wasn't exactly the company which he'd enjoy keeping, but to stay in permanent isolation instead of looking for old acquaintances—it'd be cutting his nose off to spite his face, and vanity was a property Kunzite liked about him. Now he detested acting like anything similar to how he had in the past for fear of it reminding him of the relationship.

             He screamed at the top of his vocal range, calling out for his former allies repeatedly but to no avail. He couldn't hear a word of what he was shouting, as the darkness absorbed the sound without so much as a decibel being evident to the frantic male. He felt his voice box vibrating as a result of the high pitch he'd selected, but the aching silence was eerie. He knew him being deaf was not a feasible explanation, as he heard the soft sound of his teeth pressing against one another in agitation repeatedly as the monotony of the situation became more and more frustrating. The infuriated male beseeched his brain to grant him some sort of ability to enable him to see where he was, as there was no indication of any hint for the solution. He knew he wasn't blind, and repeated blinking did little more than lace his emerald eyes with a layer of irritating moisture. Why was he damned to isolation in a prison as dark as he felt? If only it was back when Kunzite-sama would hold him and everything creating disorder would unravel and they'd be fine…

              Wait, the green-eyed king thought, it was Kunzite's fault he was here in the first place! If he wasn't constantly looking for an adoring glance or a love-filled kiss from the elder man he wouldn't have continuously performing rebellious actions to set him aside from the other generals and Youma. All the punishments he'd endured for him…yet when he'd killed Tuxedo Kamen, that infernal Cape Boy, for Kunzite, he'd accepted his death as lightly as if he'd been informed fish wouldn't be on the menu that day.

               Anger bubbled in his blood, loathing the memories of the superior Shitennou, loathing **him** for toying with his life and heart incessantly for the innumerate amounts of minutes spent in each other's presence they'd spent together. The more he dwelt on it, the more he contemplated the notion that Kunzite was guilty and responsible for all the suffering Zoisite had experienced; perhaps he'd even gone so far as to request to Queen Beryl that she should kill him and the whole thing had been the conception of their evil plotting together. Maybe Kunzite _had_ been straight after all. The idea became more plausible when he considered the fact Kunzite had been alone for quite some time after the nijizuishou were retrieved, and he had no idea how long he'd been unconscious before Kunzite aided him, and it looked like a complete set-up now. Another anguish-filled scream tore its way past his lips before he knew what was happening, this time the ratio was more generous towards than hatred than misery. The void momentarily became a blinding brilliant yet terrifying azure. He was unconscious again, unaware of where he was, and unaware of the great power now in his possession.


	3. Revenge: Part One

       Zoisite opened his eyes and surprised himself when he discovered he could see something other than a dark depressing black swarming around him in its claustrophobic manner. His vision was quite restricted as he was lying face down, but the feeling of not knowing where he was had vanished since he could see a faint light at the corners of his eyes. He pounced backwards and squatted low against the ground to give him the ideal position to start sprinting if danger sprang up around him whilst he scoped out the area, and much to his astonishment he saw he was back in the magical garden he'd visit with Kunzite. Not all was how it should appear though; there were a few dead youma with wounds that looked like they'd died from Kunzite's energy attacks which meant they were treacherous and not dead for spying on him laying Zoisite to rest, as the elder man never showed emotion.

       The beautiful pinkish red sakura petals were now brown mulch on the ground; it looked like the garden on the whole had been neglected for quite some time, so maybe Kunzite had created somewhere more advanced and attractive for whatever creature he'd adopted as his love-making partner, and whether or not he was fed up with Zoisite's homosexual requirements and found himself a willing female to pass the dark nights and days with, without a casual thought back for his other sleeping partner.

       The coppery-haired youth clenched his fist angrily, shaking steadily as he thought about his sensei with anyone else, or even resorting to masturbation to please himself when he could have showed something in Zoisite's direction that the years they spent together meant more than how he viewed the turning of the bud into the blossom—it was special but not worthy of attention. Suddenly there was an explosion behind him and he noticed that written in the soil was the message 'I'll kill you Kunzite', only each smouldering letter extended so deep into the earth that he couldn't see where they ceased, and it was making him dizzy staring into unfathomable crevices. _How did that get there?_ The effeminate male was lost in his own musings for a brief time, but suddenly he decided to go after the Sailor Senshi. Undoubtedly Kunzite would be seeking energy amongst other things from the fuku-clad pests. Unless he'd been a hindrance in his ex-lover's past, and now he wasn't around to get in the way, had Kunzite achieved what the other Shitennou could not?

                                                                                                                 ***

       He sat comfortably on the roof of the Hikawa Shrine, laughing silently at the feeble attacks the Senshi used against each other in what was probably meant to be a ferocious practice session, not the almost comic performance before the male's eyes. Their attacks were pathetic compared to his new powers, as the two unconscious ravens beside him indicated; neither had released so much a squawk because neither of the acutely psychic birds had detected his presence. He stayed there for over half an hour before reaching the conclusion the battle must not be over if the Senshi were preparing against a future battle against the Dark Kingdom, and that for this evening anyway, they were safe from the silver-haired general. He was probably drawing his pension, he bitterly thought, no longer seeing the mature older man as an attraction, more so he felt like a dirty old man had molested him and taken his body at whim. He tired of watching the girls swarming around like busy ants with futile notions, and jumped onto the sand to make his presence clear to them.

       Sailor Mars, the one who usually possessed the most strength in both body and spirit, shrieked in shock and jumped back a couple of feet from the villain who'd landed right behind her. _Why hadn't she detected his aura to provide her with ample warning? She was fully tuned in to it by this stage, so the scenario was more than slightly perplexing to her. She felt dwarfed next to the warrior, unaware that he was as tall as he was, feeling almost certain that the male used to be a few inches smaller. Sailor Moon showed a rare moment of uncharacteristic bravery that had not been demanded by another member of their party and leapt in front of her friend with her gloved arms stretched out, as if to protect Rei from whatever attack the Dark General had to offer. Zoisite, however, whilst being more patient than he had been when alive was still easily amused by this display and backhanded the blonde to cut short whatever speeches she was about to spout with regards punishing those that threatened the delicate balance of love and justice._

       "Step aside little girl, you may dress like a wanton slattern twice your age, but mentally you are capable of equalling and beating even the worst cry-baby half your age. Answer me efficiently and easily and I shall grant you less pain when I strike again. Make no mistake; no ginzuishou can save you from the powers which I possess, so any display of defiance will result in an excruciating death"

       Tsukino Usagi didn't doubt it for one second.

       "Tell me all you know about the Dark Kingdom, quickly!"

       Usagi spilt out the secret contents from all the resources they had against the Dark Kingdom unreservedly, tears rolling silently from her eyes as she betrayed her friends' trust. Not one of them attempted to silence the blonde warrior, as they took the threat just as seriously as she did, and Rei was still in disbelief her constant bickering with her was ignored, as she'd stood up again and stayed as close to Rei as possible. Zoisite's eyes sparked at the knowledge his former lover still attacked the city in search of the weapon Sailor Moon possessed; the Dark Kingdom held its own difficulties so it would appear. Suddenly a red rose sailed through the air and landed between the conversing beings before turning a deep charcoal in colour. A familiar voice began speaking and all heads turned in its direction, all though they knew who it was.

       "Sailor Moon, I carry this warning only once. The thing that stands before you is not who you think it is, so whatever you've heard is a lie. Queen Beryl-sama torched the traitor herself so that is anything but Zoisite. She's recounted the event to me many times in bed; why must you think I'd love an underage whore like yourself when I can have a mature queen with infinitely more power than you and the title of Prince Consort until we wed when I'll be King Endymion? Sayonara, little girl"

       As he turned around to make his exit, Zoisite used telekinetic powers to raise the flower and send it directly into the pompous fighter's back, with a critical hit in his spine that controlled his potency in bed. This was the second time he'd hit the man in his back, but this time his aim was targeted specifically and not even a millimetre out. If anybody attempted to kill him after this stunt like last time, he would beat his opponent face down. He shouted out to the male that his queen would hardly be satisfied with a man that could not even gain an erection before laughing, the only trait of his former life still existing. He pulled the flower out again and rendered the pathetic prince unconscious, creating a portal to the throne room and send him through it before the youma detected the energy pattern. Usagi stood dumbfounded; whispering 'Mamo-chan' to herself, then questioned him about his actions.

      "He cost me my life, the debt is repaid"

      "But you didn't lose your life if you're here. Why did you do it?"

      "His life is pointless"

      "So is yours"

      "He was my lover"

      "He was that witch's, did you not hear?"

      "He wasn't"

      "Yes he was, get over it. C'EST LA VIE!"

      Zoisite sent forth a great energy wave at the blonde, who evaded being hit by it by running towards Aino Minako. Sailor Mars however, was less fortunate as Usagi had still been standing in front of her, leaving her in the direct line of the attack. She screamed and reverted back to her shrine maiden outfit, barely noticing the green-eyed monster teleporting away. Sailor Mercury was the only one to notice the normally trademark pink sakura petals were now blacker than black and burnt as soon as they were created. Rei angrily turned to Usagi, her admiration for the blonde dissipated as quickly as it had existed.

      "Why did you leave me to take the blast? I thought you were protecting me!"

      "He threw me off with that false warning"

      "He didn't give you one; he kept looking at you the whole time, indicating he'd strike you with it"

      "He told me who he was going to attack and changed his mind by the time he carried it out, didn't you hear him?"

      "I heard no such thing"

      The other Senshi agreed with Rei, and Usagi looked close to tears as none of her friends backed her up. She looked around and her eyes pleaded with her comrades, but nobody knew what the warning of which she spoke was. Luna looked up at her friend and saw sincerity in her usually vacant expression. There was a group-wide cry of shock at her stupidity when she had her final outburst.

        "He did he did he did! He said Sailor V!"


End file.
